Moo

quotes Cheuck likes

"I can believe things that are true and things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not.

I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Beatles and Marilyn Monroe and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen - I believe that people are perfectable, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkled lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women.

I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state.

I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste.

I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like martians in War of the Worlds.

I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman.

I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumble bee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself.

I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck.

I believe that anyone who says sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too.

I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system.

I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it."— Neil Gaiman

Goodreads Quotes

The Plight of Mario. Part 1.

Emotionless, she looked him right in the face and told him flatly, "I no longer love you, you fat Italian slob."

The coldness in her voice slammed into him, sobering him down to the bone.

"But it's me...Mario" he stammered.

“I don't freaking care if you were the King goddamn Koopa. Get out of here, you god damn Plumber,” she replied.

"It's that bastard Chad isn't it?" he asked, forlorn and in tears.

"Chad is just my boss and he has nothing to do with this. Meanwhile, since you mentioned him, the paper that his bank statements are printed on are worth more than you'll ever earn," she said.

"So, it all comes down to money? Didn't I risk my life to save you from servitude and certain death? Didn't I make you happy?" he asked.

The Princess looked at him and stated simply, "You were a warm body at night. Nothing more. Goodbye Mario."

He left her apartment and walked slowly back towards the upper east side of manhattan where he lived. He passed by his favorite pizza shop, Slices of Heaven and talked to the owner, Toad. They were shutting down because they couldn't compete with the larger chains. He ordered his favorite Flying Turtle Pie one last time and wished Toad the best of luck.

On the way home, he saw a Goomba lying on the side of the road, disheveled and shivering. Taking off his coat, Mario draped it over the poor soul making sure to leave a few bucks in the pockets.

The Goomba stirred.."Whazzit? who?"

"It's me...mario," he whispered.

"..mario? MARIO? Hey man, don't hurt me! Get away! Get away! Don't step on my head!" The goomba looked at him with frightened eyes and tried to shrink into himself.

Mario shook his head and said, “It’s over, Goombie. It’sa all over….”

He left the confused Goomba lying on the street and continued up Lexington Avenue. He stared into the Sun and with utter defiance, it continued to shine. The streets of New York remained bitter cold and offered little solace. Everywhere he looked, he still saw Her.

"Man, I hate that Chad," he thought to himself.